I don't know who is still following my blog. I would assume most have abandoned the following since I abandoned the updating...
I am sorry but I can't finish the rest of the story about my mom...
I would love to talk about it with anyone that really wants to know... it is helpful to talk about so just call me or email me. I have just decided that those days haunt me enough in all states of my consciences that I don't need to go through every detail on this blog.
What I will say is that her death caught everyone by suprise especially the doctors. She was going to be discharged in the next day or two and took a turn for the worse. She developed a bleed and a blood clot. My brother was able to drive up and see her before she went into emergency surgery and of course Joanne and I were there too. They kept her alive long enough so that we could go into her room and hold her hand until her pulse was gone. Somehow it was peaceful... I remember thanking God that she wasn't suffering anymore.
All that lingers is the huge whole in my heart... i have no doubt of where she is and that she is more than okay... its my sadness in missing her that at times is more than I can bear.
If I am honest I would tell you that I feel a little lost right now. Kurt and I have decided to move back to Texas... I feel good about this decision though I can't see at all what or where my place is. We are looking for somewhere to live and debating whether to buy or rent. We have put over 15000 miles on our car going back and forth to Texas to DC and back and to Ohio and Michigan to be with family. With every road trip think when I reach the next destination I will feel a little better and I do for a bit as I keep busy. It's when I am trying to go to sleep or that first moment when I wake up in the morning that is so hard.
One wierd thing... my whole life I have been a pretty private person (just like my mom)... never talked about myself much. If you have been reading this blog that has obviously changed. Sorry if I have been too honest... just quick reading this I guess:)
I started this blog for mom in the first place... so she could read and see what in the world her crazy daughter was doing in DC. I don't know if I will keep blogging. If I do... obviously the title of it has to change being that I am no longer in DC.
L
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
Ive been keeping a secret....
We are in Texas!
Suprise!
Sunday night Kurt and I talked and had been praying about what we should do for the next week or so. Our team in DC has dispersed to different cities all over the nation to pray for the elections. We are still transitioning back and haven't felt like we were running on full battery.
We jumped in the car Monday morn and drove to Alabama, spent the night, then got to Lindale to the YWAM base there Tuesday afternoon. We surprised our friends, their were tears, and laughter and I haven't smiled that much in weeks... it was beautiful.
Yesterday (Thursday) we drove 6 hours to Lubbock where Kurt's family is and spend the day surprising his mom, dad, sister and 2 year old nephew one by one. It was so fun and again there was shock, tears and lots of hugs.
I got to have breakfast this morning with two good friends, Amy and Martha.
So far this has been a great last minute decision and it has done well for my heart. We will be in Lubbock through the weekend and then drive back to Lindale to spend a few more days and then head back to DC for the last week before the election.
L
Suprise!
Sunday night Kurt and I talked and had been praying about what we should do for the next week or so. Our team in DC has dispersed to different cities all over the nation to pray for the elections. We are still transitioning back and haven't felt like we were running on full battery.
We jumped in the car Monday morn and drove to Alabama, spent the night, then got to Lindale to the YWAM base there Tuesday afternoon. We surprised our friends, their were tears, and laughter and I haven't smiled that much in weeks... it was beautiful.
Yesterday (Thursday) we drove 6 hours to Lubbock where Kurt's family is and spend the day surprising his mom, dad, sister and 2 year old nephew one by one. It was so fun and again there was shock, tears and lots of hugs.
I got to have breakfast this morning with two good friends, Amy and Martha.
So far this has been a great last minute decision and it has done well for my heart. We will be in Lubbock through the weekend and then drive back to Lindale to spend a few more days and then head back to DC for the last week before the election.
L
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Mom Part 4
I am not sure where to start.
Mom was now scheduled to have a consultation with a Pancreatic Specialist at the cancer center at the U of M hospital. We felt so good that she was going to be seen by someone that deals with the pancreas specifically. We knew very little. We knew the appointment was at 8am on Monday the 25th of August. We didn't know what this surgeon would think in comparison with the surgeon in Ludington. We didn't know if he would take one look at her test results and order knew tests or immediatley take her to surgery. Ann Arbor is a 3 1/2 hour drive and so we didn't know if we should pack bags in case she needed to be in the city for tests for a few days. Kurt and I wondered if we would come back to Michigan at all and so wondered if we needed to bring all of our stuff with us.
The details in my memory are slipping... this is very sad to me. I remember the facts but I don't remember conversations with her. Of course she was nervous. I had to remind her everytime we learned something knew to call people and let family and friends know about new details.
The day before the consult was a Sunday so the church was told by our pastor that we would head to Ann Arbor the next day and that we didn't know what would come next. People were hugging mom wondering if they would see her soon or not for awhile in the case that she would go to surgery right away. We learned after church that a young couple that has a family home in Pentwater lived in Ann Arbor. They gave Pastor Mark their names and numbers and told him to pass them to us so that if we needed a place to stay in Ann Arbor their home was open and only 10 minutes from the hospital. We took this as a huge answer to prayer. We knew that staying at a hotel at length was not an option. If mom was going to go into surgery and a long hospital stay we thought Kurt would come back to DC and I would stay with mom. Until then we didn't know how or where I would be able to stay.
That night a couple of people from church were baptized down at the lake and then went back to the church for tesitmonies and of course food. We went to the food part:) I remember going over and catching up to speed with people that didn't know what was going on with mom and the U of M. At the end of the time the elders gathered and prayed over mom and Kurt and I. Looking back this was the last time most people from church saw mom.
Our little church in Pentwater is pretty amazing. Everyone knows everyone of course, but they all really take care of eachother. Mom was on the missions board and had the same small group for years. The most wonderful people you have ever met!
We decided to each pack essentials to last a few days. If we had to stay in Ann Arbor longer my Aunt Joanne would come up and could bring us the rest of our stuff, which we had packed and ready in case. We left the morning of the consult at 4 am. We left mom's dog murphy (cockapoo) at the house knowing later my aunt would come and let him out.
Mom slept in the back seat for most of the drive. Kurt drove and we talked. We stopped for Mochas at Starbucks (mom's favorite) and breakfast sandwiches. She told us over and over and over how glad she was we were with her and how appreciative she was that we were 'taking care of her.' Of course we didn't see it like it was a duty... there was no other place in the world I would have been!
Kurt found the hospital easy enough. It was very sobering to walk into the cancer center. That is when it hit both mom and I how naive we both were to all the sickness that people go through. Beautiful people everywhere with no hair. Some looking just happy and some looking very ill and sad.
I remember walking away from the day feeling in good hands. At every counter we went to we were met by friendly faces and mom barely finished her the forms she had to fill out before they were already calling her to the back. Kurt stayed in the waiting room and I went with her.
A really nice women took her blood pressure and weighed mom. Mom made her usual jokes about her weight and was a little flustered. She told the women this was her first visit and she was a little nervous. The women really looked at her and told they would take good care of her and then she led us into a room to wait for the doctor.
This is where we meet Dr. Gabriel (I am changing the names of mom's doctors and nurses.) (Don't laugh...he was like an angel to us!)
He said, "I am so glad to meet you Debra, I am just so sorry that it is under these circumstances." Now I understand that he has said that to every patient that comes through the doors but he was so genuine I will never forget it. He first talked to us about living in Pentwater. As a child his family used to spend time near there in the summers. It was a great point of connection and it kind of put us at ease.
He had mom go through the story of when her pain started and how it has continued and where it was felt. She described her discomfort after eating and her fatigue. She gave her history of prior surgeries including her gall bladder being removed years before. He had her put on a gown and feel around the area of discomfort. It was like a band going around her bra line. He left to go and view the CD's that we had brought that had the findings and films of her tests results the ER and the surgeons office in Ludington had done.
While we waited we were visited by basically a case worker. She wanted to know if mom needed help paying her utility bills while she was out of work. They wanted to know if they could help her get food stamps... did she have counseling needs while going through this. The women was very nice.
What I want to remember is while we sat there alone, what did we talk about. I can picture the room if I close my eyes, and I can remember what mom was wearing. I am sure we made jokes and laughed we always did... I just can't remember.
When Dr. Gabriel came back in he and his pathologist had come to the same conclusions as the other surgeon. He felt like he could do multiple biopsies that could potentially look negative for cancer but he would not feel certain of that until he was inside there. They were convinced that the mass had to come out. He did say that if she chose to, she could wait on having surgery and watch this thing to see if it would grow or move. If it moved at all it was dangerous because it could close off the pancreas which would be life threatening. He thought she was a great candidate for the whipple procedure. Only 20 % of people with pancreatic cancer can even have the whipple done because it is usually to late for any saving surgeries. Mom's mass was encapsulated and contained so if it was cancer she had a great chance that it had not spread and the whipple would basically cure her.
Mom said she absolutely did not want to just sit and wait watching this thing. She wanted to do the surgery asap. Dr. Gabriel asked her all about her life, job, church, mission trips to India. He felt like because of her young 53 years and love of life she would recover very well from this risky surgery. I say risky because it has a 2-3 % death rate and can result in many problems. He was confidant that she was strong enough to overcome all of that.
Without her even asking he looked her right in the eyes and said that she would receive the best care that anyone with a billion dollars would get. He promised to take great care of her. As I write this in my heart I know he kept his promise... we will get to that later.
And with that the consult was over. He said he didn't need to redo a bunch of tests that the other hospital had already done. The next step was obviously the whipple. He said we would hear from him later that evening or the next day after he met with a group of doctors about her case and he would give us a date of surgery that would be within the next 2 weeks. He was wonderful and mom felt so relieved to have a plan.
Another women came in to ask if mom would consent to have whatever pathologies that were removed from her during the upcoming surgery donated to the hospital to test and learn more about the pancreas. Of course she consented and we both thought that was kinda cool.
We then were shown to the office of the lady in the financial department that mom needed to talk to. She was also so very nice and very helpful. She gave mom a couple of applications to fill out to apply for medicaid. And just said that it would be helpful to have those turned into to the human services department in our county before her surgery. She said that if for some reason mom didn't qualify that they would help her come up with a payment plan but it would not interfere in anyway with the care she would receive.
The day seemed to good to be true. The only way it could have gone better is if the Dr. had redone tests and found that everything had disapeared. We left the hospital and found a cracker barrell and had lunch before we headed back to Pentwater.
Dr. Gabriel did try to call mom that night but she missed his call. They talked the next morning. All the other doctors agreed that the whipple was the answer and the next step. Dr. Gabriel said that mom could choose between having the surgery September 4th or 18th. He wanted to give her the option in case she had to wrap up anything at home and needed the later date. She said the sooner the better. She wanted this over and done with and figured out! She choose the 4th and it was set. He told her that the pre-op department would call her in the next few days to tell her when to come back at the end of the week for a check-up.
I guess that's it for now. This seems to drain me to remember and write stuff down though it feels good at the same time. Through writing the blog I cry, laugh and smile... Most of the time it all feels like I am trying to remember a dream that is slowly slipping away.
Mom was now scheduled to have a consultation with a Pancreatic Specialist at the cancer center at the U of M hospital. We felt so good that she was going to be seen by someone that deals with the pancreas specifically. We knew very little. We knew the appointment was at 8am on Monday the 25th of August. We didn't know what this surgeon would think in comparison with the surgeon in Ludington. We didn't know if he would take one look at her test results and order knew tests or immediatley take her to surgery. Ann Arbor is a 3 1/2 hour drive and so we didn't know if we should pack bags in case she needed to be in the city for tests for a few days. Kurt and I wondered if we would come back to Michigan at all and so wondered if we needed to bring all of our stuff with us.
The details in my memory are slipping... this is very sad to me. I remember the facts but I don't remember conversations with her. Of course she was nervous. I had to remind her everytime we learned something knew to call people and let family and friends know about new details.
The day before the consult was a Sunday so the church was told by our pastor that we would head to Ann Arbor the next day and that we didn't know what would come next. People were hugging mom wondering if they would see her soon or not for awhile in the case that she would go to surgery right away. We learned after church that a young couple that has a family home in Pentwater lived in Ann Arbor. They gave Pastor Mark their names and numbers and told him to pass them to us so that if we needed a place to stay in Ann Arbor their home was open and only 10 minutes from the hospital. We took this as a huge answer to prayer. We knew that staying at a hotel at length was not an option. If mom was going to go into surgery and a long hospital stay we thought Kurt would come back to DC and I would stay with mom. Until then we didn't know how or where I would be able to stay.
That night a couple of people from church were baptized down at the lake and then went back to the church for tesitmonies and of course food. We went to the food part:) I remember going over and catching up to speed with people that didn't know what was going on with mom and the U of M. At the end of the time the elders gathered and prayed over mom and Kurt and I. Looking back this was the last time most people from church saw mom.
Our little church in Pentwater is pretty amazing. Everyone knows everyone of course, but they all really take care of eachother. Mom was on the missions board and had the same small group for years. The most wonderful people you have ever met!
We decided to each pack essentials to last a few days. If we had to stay in Ann Arbor longer my Aunt Joanne would come up and could bring us the rest of our stuff, which we had packed and ready in case. We left the morning of the consult at 4 am. We left mom's dog murphy (cockapoo) at the house knowing later my aunt would come and let him out.
Mom slept in the back seat for most of the drive. Kurt drove and we talked. We stopped for Mochas at Starbucks (mom's favorite) and breakfast sandwiches. She told us over and over and over how glad she was we were with her and how appreciative she was that we were 'taking care of her.' Of course we didn't see it like it was a duty... there was no other place in the world I would have been!
Kurt found the hospital easy enough. It was very sobering to walk into the cancer center. That is when it hit both mom and I how naive we both were to all the sickness that people go through. Beautiful people everywhere with no hair. Some looking just happy and some looking very ill and sad.
I remember walking away from the day feeling in good hands. At every counter we went to we were met by friendly faces and mom barely finished her the forms she had to fill out before they were already calling her to the back. Kurt stayed in the waiting room and I went with her.
A really nice women took her blood pressure and weighed mom. Mom made her usual jokes about her weight and was a little flustered. She told the women this was her first visit and she was a little nervous. The women really looked at her and told they would take good care of her and then she led us into a room to wait for the doctor.
This is where we meet Dr. Gabriel (I am changing the names of mom's doctors and nurses.) (Don't laugh...he was like an angel to us!)
He said, "I am so glad to meet you Debra, I am just so sorry that it is under these circumstances." Now I understand that he has said that to every patient that comes through the doors but he was so genuine I will never forget it. He first talked to us about living in Pentwater. As a child his family used to spend time near there in the summers. It was a great point of connection and it kind of put us at ease.
He had mom go through the story of when her pain started and how it has continued and where it was felt. She described her discomfort after eating and her fatigue. She gave her history of prior surgeries including her gall bladder being removed years before. He had her put on a gown and feel around the area of discomfort. It was like a band going around her bra line. He left to go and view the CD's that we had brought that had the findings and films of her tests results the ER and the surgeons office in Ludington had done.
While we waited we were visited by basically a case worker. She wanted to know if mom needed help paying her utility bills while she was out of work. They wanted to know if they could help her get food stamps... did she have counseling needs while going through this. The women was very nice.
What I want to remember is while we sat there alone, what did we talk about. I can picture the room if I close my eyes, and I can remember what mom was wearing. I am sure we made jokes and laughed we always did... I just can't remember.
When Dr. Gabriel came back in he and his pathologist had come to the same conclusions as the other surgeon. He felt like he could do multiple biopsies that could potentially look negative for cancer but he would not feel certain of that until he was inside there. They were convinced that the mass had to come out. He did say that if she chose to, she could wait on having surgery and watch this thing to see if it would grow or move. If it moved at all it was dangerous because it could close off the pancreas which would be life threatening. He thought she was a great candidate for the whipple procedure. Only 20 % of people with pancreatic cancer can even have the whipple done because it is usually to late for any saving surgeries. Mom's mass was encapsulated and contained so if it was cancer she had a great chance that it had not spread and the whipple would basically cure her.
Mom said she absolutely did not want to just sit and wait watching this thing. She wanted to do the surgery asap. Dr. Gabriel asked her all about her life, job, church, mission trips to India. He felt like because of her young 53 years and love of life she would recover very well from this risky surgery. I say risky because it has a 2-3 % death rate and can result in many problems. He was confidant that she was strong enough to overcome all of that.
Without her even asking he looked her right in the eyes and said that she would receive the best care that anyone with a billion dollars would get. He promised to take great care of her. As I write this in my heart I know he kept his promise... we will get to that later.
And with that the consult was over. He said he didn't need to redo a bunch of tests that the other hospital had already done. The next step was obviously the whipple. He said we would hear from him later that evening or the next day after he met with a group of doctors about her case and he would give us a date of surgery that would be within the next 2 weeks. He was wonderful and mom felt so relieved to have a plan.
Another women came in to ask if mom would consent to have whatever pathologies that were removed from her during the upcoming surgery donated to the hospital to test and learn more about the pancreas. Of course she consented and we both thought that was kinda cool.
We then were shown to the office of the lady in the financial department that mom needed to talk to. She was also so very nice and very helpful. She gave mom a couple of applications to fill out to apply for medicaid. And just said that it would be helpful to have those turned into to the human services department in our county before her surgery. She said that if for some reason mom didn't qualify that they would help her come up with a payment plan but it would not interfere in anyway with the care she would receive.
The day seemed to good to be true. The only way it could have gone better is if the Dr. had redone tests and found that everything had disapeared. We left the hospital and found a cracker barrell and had lunch before we headed back to Pentwater.
Dr. Gabriel did try to call mom that night but she missed his call. They talked the next morning. All the other doctors agreed that the whipple was the answer and the next step. Dr. Gabriel said that mom could choose between having the surgery September 4th or 18th. He wanted to give her the option in case she had to wrap up anything at home and needed the later date. She said the sooner the better. She wanted this over and done with and figured out! She choose the 4th and it was set. He told her that the pre-op department would call her in the next few days to tell her when to come back at the end of the week for a check-up.
I guess that's it for now. This seems to drain me to remember and write stuff down though it feels good at the same time. Through writing the blog I cry, laugh and smile... Most of the time it all feels like I am trying to remember a dream that is slowly slipping away.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
(Updated) a song...
(I copied and pasted the lyrics to this song from a website that had a word wrong. See below.)
When I have heard this song over the last 2 weeks it has done something I can't describe. The grief comes in waves and I don't know when it will hit. And sometimes it feels so intense I try to push it down to protect myself. When I hear this song the Lord seems to use it to open up slivers of my heart and gives me in pieces what I can handle and at the same time He ministers to me.
John Mark Mcmillan is the artist and he wrote this song after his friend Stephen died in a car crash. I recommend the .99 to buy the song... reading the words just isn't the same. Really, I even recommend the whole album, "The song inside the sounds of breaking down."
He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane
I am a tree
Bending beneath
The weight of his wind and mercy
When all of a sudden
I am unaware of these
Afflictions eclipsed by glory
And I realize how beautiful you are
And how great your (affections are) for me
Oh how he loves us so
Oh how he loves us
How he loves us so
Yea He loves us
Oh how
We are his portion
And he is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in his eyes
If grace is an ocean we're all sinking
So heaven meats earth like a sloppy wet kiss
And my heart burns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way
He loves us
Oh how he loves us so
Oh how he loves us
How he loves us so
Yea He loves us
Oh how
I thought about you
The day Stephen died
And you met me between my breaking
I know that I still love you God
Despite the agony
See people they want to tell me your cruel
But if Stephen could sing
He'd say its not true
Cause your good
When I have heard this song over the last 2 weeks it has done something I can't describe. The grief comes in waves and I don't know when it will hit. And sometimes it feels so intense I try to push it down to protect myself. When I hear this song the Lord seems to use it to open up slivers of my heart and gives me in pieces what I can handle and at the same time He ministers to me.
John Mark Mcmillan is the artist and he wrote this song after his friend Stephen died in a car crash. I recommend the .99 to buy the song... reading the words just isn't the same. Really, I even recommend the whole album, "The song inside the sounds of breaking down."
He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane
I am a tree
Bending beneath
The weight of his wind and mercy
When all of a sudden
I am unaware of these
Afflictions eclipsed by glory
And I realize how beautiful you are
And how great your (affections are) for me
Oh how he loves us so
Oh how he loves us
How he loves us so
Yea He loves us
Oh how
We are his portion
And he is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in his eyes
If grace is an ocean we're all sinking
So heaven meats earth like a sloppy wet kiss
And my heart burns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way
He loves us
Oh how he loves us so
Oh how he loves us
How he loves us so
Yea He loves us
Oh how
I thought about you
The day Stephen died
And you met me between my breaking
I know that I still love you God
Despite the agony
See people they want to tell me your cruel
But if Stephen could sing
He'd say its not true
Cause your good
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Pics of our time in Michigan
I made my first fire ever!
Ludington Sunset
Uncle Wally and Aunt Joanne
My mom's dog Murphy (Josh has him now)
Our garage sale
mmm... smores...
Mom and me: 1 of 2 pictures we took of mom this visit :(
Kurt and I found walking sticks will on a trail in the woods
Mom at the beach... she loved this!
Pentwater Beach
Hayden, Ava and Me
Me and Uncle Terry (mom's brother)
I wish we had taken so many more pictures... it's my second biggest regret. My first is that I didn't come home and visit more often.
L
Ludington Sunset
Uncle Wally and Aunt Joanne
My mom's dog Murphy (Josh has him now)
Our garage sale
mmm... smores...
Mom and me: 1 of 2 pictures we took of mom this visit :(
Kurt and I found walking sticks will on a trail in the woods
Mom at the beach... she loved this!
Pentwater Beach
Hayden, Ava and Me
Me and Uncle Terry (mom's brother)
I wish we had taken so many more pictures... it's my second biggest regret. My first is that I didn't come home and visit more often.L
Mom Part 3
My brother Josh and wife Kari, and kids Hayden (11) and Ava (4) live in Ohio pretty close to Cleveland. When Josh found out mom was sick he began doing some research and he and Kari made some phone calls. They wanted mom to go to the Cleveland Clinic to have further testing and have the whipple procedure done there. This way mom could come to their house to rest and heal for the few months that it was going to take after the whipple. This also worked well because she would be so close for any and all follow up appointments.
So, we began to move forward with this plan. Upon leaving the surgeon's office the day she got back her MRI and CT Scan results she requested to be referred to the Cleveland Clinic. Everyone including the surgeon thought this was a great idea. This clinic would have it's own pancreatic department and have seen cases like mom many more times than any close small town hospital in Michigan.
Before mom got sick Kurt and I had been planning to come up for a visit over labor day weekend. After finding out mom was sick and not knowing how serious it was my brother and his family planned on joining us.
I think we heard back from the Cleveland Clinic after two days. My mind is pretty foggy as I write this and I don't remember a lot of details. It was explained to mom that she had to speak with the financial department before they would make a consultation appointment. It was hard to get a hold of them at first. The long and the short is that because mom was a Michigan resident she would not qualify for any Ohio state funding. Around this same time Josh was doing a carpentry job for a women who was on the board at the Cleveland Clinic. She told him that mom could simply get her cell phone bill changed to his address and that would be enough to show she had Ohio residency.
Mom talked with the financial department again and they were emailing her an application to fill out as long as she was a resident in Ohio. I think this was a Wednesday or Thursday and this women from the financial department wouldn't be back into the office until that next Monday. So we knew it would be at least another week at least before we she could get in for a consult.
I remember after that phone call mom and I spent the afternoon at the beach. We took our chairs, towels, books and money for icecream. It's an unspoken rule that you have to get an icecream cone when you go to the beach in Pentwater. At one point mom was really quiet for a long time. She finally explained to me that she was uncomfortable trying to figure out a way to look like an Ohio resident when she knew she wasn't. But the other side was that she didn't want to dissapoint Josh because he done so much to help.
Those were a stressful few days. Some foreign mass that could be cancer was inside of her on one of her major organs and we didn't have a plan.
Somewhere in there, mom's best friend Carla, heard at work (she is a nurse) that the doctor she worked for had referred a women who needed the whipple procedure to University Hospital in Ann Arbor Michigan (3 1/2 hours away). This women had recovered well and was doing great. That was all we needed to know. Mom called her Surgeon in Ludington and his office referred her to U of M. We received a phone call the next day with a date and time for her consult. We were asked to speak to the financial department before the consult. And the next day we received a packet in the mail with all kinds of info about the hospital and what she needed to bring with her to her consult. The main thing she had to bring were her lab and test results from her first surgeon's office.
She talked with the financial department who couldn't have been more kind. They assured her that she would receive the same care as anyone would that had insurance. They told her that they had many applications she could fill out for State help and that it sounded like she would more than likely qualify for a temporary disability which would pay her because she couldn't work.
I remember how relieved we felt. We had a plan, or at least the next step. Mom really felt peaceful about the U of M. It seemed like it just happened so fast and was so easy. The only unfortunate thing was that since mom was no longer going to Clevelend for surgery my brother and his family needed to wait and save money to make the trip to Michigan for when mom did have the surgery. Ann Arbor is about halfway between Clevelend and Pentwater.
Let's recap... Kurt and I are arrived in Michigan August 13th. Mom was told by her surgeon in Ludington on the 19th that no matter what she would most likely have to have the whipple procedure done. Then she was scheduled for a consultation with a new surgeon at the U of M for the 25th.
Putting it like that may seem like things moved a long quickly. But in the midst of it, not knowing if it was cancer or not the time seemed to crawl by. And all though we had laughs and fire in the back yard at night and went out for dinner and spent a few afternoons at the beach, there was always an underlying burden that we all felt.
In the next part I will get into the U of M, pre-op and the day of surgery.
I don't want to forget to say that my husband is the most wonderful man I have ever met. He is such a rock for me and I truly could not have done this without him!
L
So, we began to move forward with this plan. Upon leaving the surgeon's office the day she got back her MRI and CT Scan results she requested to be referred to the Cleveland Clinic. Everyone including the surgeon thought this was a great idea. This clinic would have it's own pancreatic department and have seen cases like mom many more times than any close small town hospital in Michigan.
Before mom got sick Kurt and I had been planning to come up for a visit over labor day weekend. After finding out mom was sick and not knowing how serious it was my brother and his family planned on joining us.
I think we heard back from the Cleveland Clinic after two days. My mind is pretty foggy as I write this and I don't remember a lot of details. It was explained to mom that she had to speak with the financial department before they would make a consultation appointment. It was hard to get a hold of them at first. The long and the short is that because mom was a Michigan resident she would not qualify for any Ohio state funding. Around this same time Josh was doing a carpentry job for a women who was on the board at the Cleveland Clinic. She told him that mom could simply get her cell phone bill changed to his address and that would be enough to show she had Ohio residency.
Mom talked with the financial department again and they were emailing her an application to fill out as long as she was a resident in Ohio. I think this was a Wednesday or Thursday and this women from the financial department wouldn't be back into the office until that next Monday. So we knew it would be at least another week at least before we she could get in for a consult.
I remember after that phone call mom and I spent the afternoon at the beach. We took our chairs, towels, books and money for icecream. It's an unspoken rule that you have to get an icecream cone when you go to the beach in Pentwater. At one point mom was really quiet for a long time. She finally explained to me that she was uncomfortable trying to figure out a way to look like an Ohio resident when she knew she wasn't. But the other side was that she didn't want to dissapoint Josh because he done so much to help.
Those were a stressful few days. Some foreign mass that could be cancer was inside of her on one of her major organs and we didn't have a plan.
Somewhere in there, mom's best friend Carla, heard at work (she is a nurse) that the doctor she worked for had referred a women who needed the whipple procedure to University Hospital in Ann Arbor Michigan (3 1/2 hours away). This women had recovered well and was doing great. That was all we needed to know. Mom called her Surgeon in Ludington and his office referred her to U of M. We received a phone call the next day with a date and time for her consult. We were asked to speak to the financial department before the consult. And the next day we received a packet in the mail with all kinds of info about the hospital and what she needed to bring with her to her consult. The main thing she had to bring were her lab and test results from her first surgeon's office.
She talked with the financial department who couldn't have been more kind. They assured her that she would receive the same care as anyone would that had insurance. They told her that they had many applications she could fill out for State help and that it sounded like she would more than likely qualify for a temporary disability which would pay her because she couldn't work.
I remember how relieved we felt. We had a plan, or at least the next step. Mom really felt peaceful about the U of M. It seemed like it just happened so fast and was so easy. The only unfortunate thing was that since mom was no longer going to Clevelend for surgery my brother and his family needed to wait and save money to make the trip to Michigan for when mom did have the surgery. Ann Arbor is about halfway between Clevelend and Pentwater.
Let's recap... Kurt and I are arrived in Michigan August 13th. Mom was told by her surgeon in Ludington on the 19th that no matter what she would most likely have to have the whipple procedure done. Then she was scheduled for a consultation with a new surgeon at the U of M for the 25th.
Putting it like that may seem like things moved a long quickly. But in the midst of it, not knowing if it was cancer or not the time seemed to crawl by. And all though we had laughs and fire in the back yard at night and went out for dinner and spent a few afternoons at the beach, there was always an underlying burden that we all felt.
In the next part I will get into the U of M, pre-op and the day of surgery.
I don't want to forget to say that my husband is the most wonderful man I have ever met. He is such a rock for me and I truly could not have done this without him!
L
Pictures
The past two days I have been working on pictures. My mom never kept albums. We found all of our pictures in boxes and trash bags in closets and in the garage. This morning I picked up 576 prints from walgreens.
At first I was just going to print pictures of my mom that I had scanned into the computer and given my brother the originals. Since having a digital camera Kurt and I have not ordered pics in years. They are all on our computers. So I decided to print lots of pics and get them into albums.
Right now I am in the midst of organizing them chronologically... they begin with my mom's baby pictures and go through her life and then onto my and my brother all the way to our time here in D.C. This is a beast of a project.
I will blog soon with Mom part 3. Hopefully after tonight's prayer meeting on the Hill.
And I will post some pictures soon!
L
At first I was just going to print pictures of my mom that I had scanned into the computer and given my brother the originals. Since having a digital camera Kurt and I have not ordered pics in years. They are all on our computers. So I decided to print lots of pics and get them into albums.
Right now I am in the midst of organizing them chronologically... they begin with my mom's baby pictures and go through her life and then onto my and my brother all the way to our time here in D.C. This is a beast of a project.
I will blog soon with Mom part 3. Hopefully after tonight's prayer meeting on the Hill.
And I will post some pictures soon!
L
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